ZOMBIES. Fuck ‘em, and fuck the people that are all fucking zany for them. It’s just like everything else (twitter), all of a sudden there’s this massive surge of popularity in all aspects of media and culture. In a few months no one will give a fuck about the fucking zombie walk you want to have in your town or your fucking zombie themed podcast (very specific!). They DEFINITELY won’t give a fuck about this blog post in a few months.
Fuck twitter too, I’ve said it before, it’s the god damned stupidest fucking thing. No one gives a fuck what you’re doing at ANY particular moment of the day. Why do you find it to be so important to constantly update them? “It’s like an instant message but to everyone at once” (English Dave) Haven’t you ever heard of a fucking mass text mail or a mass email you fucking Englisher?!
Posted on: March 22nd, 2009
Buh. I’ve been planning on doing this for a few days now, but I haven’t really had the motivation to actually do it. Now I find myself with ample time and little to do but listening to the echoing screams of children on bouncy air filled doo-dads, more on that further down.
I guess I’ll start with the most recent shit. I got up this morning in a good mood, as one might normally do on a weekend, nothing pressing to do, just relax with the family… among other things. We have plans to pick up some planters for some herbs and vegetables we’re growing. We also want to pick up some miscellaneous garden tools to straighten up the yard and plant some grass… as there is none at all in our “backyard.” I picked up my phone to call my mother to let her know that we’re coming over to get the shit, and I notice I have a text message from my sister that she sent at 5 o’clock this morning. Generally if you get a call or a text message that early, it’s because something fucked up has happened. Lo and behold this was the case.
Some dickless fuck and his fucking cocksmoking friends apparently (and I haven’t heard a full first hand account of it yet… so this is going on third hand information) beat the shit out of my brother. In the process of which they shattered his jaw and knocked out 8 of his teeth. Why? Well as far I’ve heard my brother and this one dude bumped into each other, had some words and then went their separate ways. Then this guy rounded up some of his friends, tracked down my brother at the bar he was at and then proceeded to pummeling. They then dragged him outside and continued. Where the fuck were the bouncers? Is it not their job to stop shit like this before it gets to broken jaws and missing teeth? Goddamned assholes, what do you get paid for?
Like I said, I don’t have a ton of information about it yet. I know at this moment he’s in surgery getting titanium plates installed in his face and having his jaw wired shut. I can only hope that that spineless fuck that couldn’t man up and let it go, gets his fucking comeuppance.
The other shit I was going to talk about seems pretty fucking unimportant now, but I’ll do it anyway. Content is content, right?
Hmmm … what else….
About 12 days ago I found out that EA/Mythic had finally come out with a 10 day free trial for Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning. A game I had long wanted to play but could not convince a certain someone that I was responsible enough to not play way too much like a fucking dickhead. So, I downloaded the trial, and as I had suspected I really enjoy it. Then I looked into how much the game costs for the full version and found out that Gamestop had dropped the price on it from 50 dorrah to 30 dollars. So I went in to the local store and requested a copy. They just so happened to have the collectors edition of it and were selling it for the same price! Hot damn! I think they were 90 – 100 when the game was first released, so that’s a hell of a savings! Plus if you do the upgrade within the game… they still charge you 50 dollars, buh to that. It’s been a lot of fun so far. I generally hate PvP in video games but Warhammer makes it fun (they call it RvR though).
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Several hours later, we made the trip to my parents house after Monkey Joes… that’s where the screaming was going on. We acquired the necessary gardening/yard maintenance tools from them and came home. I chopped the shit out of the ugly as fuck tree/plant/bush things in the front yard and bagged ‘em up. I also planted some grass seeds in the backyard (one at a time! but not really!)
My brother is out of surgery and spending the night at the hospital, he’s got his jaw wired shut and won’t be eating any solid food for the next month +. I asked him if he felt like Thomas Vanek, he said yes (via text message).
So that’s it for right now. You’re very welcome for this big old wall o’ text. I typed it up on my netbook! Maybe I’ll write up some shit about that soon.
Also, I would have been significantly more fired up about the absinthe with an e thing and WARHAMMER if I had done this post before today.
Fuck the cockholes that jumped my brother, man up you sonsabitches. COMEUPPANCE I TELL YOU.
