Posted on: September 13th, 2009 Old story, Fuck you if you don’t like it.
I went with my wife and son to buy some shit and everything we got was available in that big fucking warehouse part, self pick up or whatever they call it… except one thing… a mattress.
We paid for all of the other shit and then went to the item pick up counter, checked in with the thing at the counter and sat patiently waiting for our number to be called. We could see behind the counter where they were staging the items to be picked up by all of the other sad fucks that were sitting there waiting with us.
After about 30 minutes of waiting for our number to be called, I happened to see a mattress sitting there on a cart behind the no business fuckshit at the counter that calls out the numbers. She’s still not called us up to the counter and no one else has claimed the mattress as of yet, surely it must be ours and she’s just a goddamned idiot and hasn’t called us up yet.
I approach the counter.
“Hello, I couldn’t help but notice that mattress which is similar to the one I have purchased and am waiting for, is sitting there on a cart behind you. Do you think perhaps that it is mine?”
She wanders off with my receipt in hand to confirm or disconfirm my suspicion. She stops, looks at a tag on it, and starts walking back to the counter.
“Nope”
I sit back down with my family and wait and wait and wait. Another half hour goes by, I approach the counter again and restate my original belief that the mattress sitting on that cart for the last fucking hour was in fact mine and I’d like to take it and stop being a goddamned prisoner inside of this fucking gigantic yellow menace.
“Nope, it’s not yours”
“Well then where is mine? I’ve been sitting here for over a fucking hour. This is retarded”
“Let me check again”
She checks the tag on the fucking thing again…. AND GUESS WHAT?! IT IS MY FUCKING MATTRESS and it’s been sitting there staring us all in the goddamned face for the last fucking hour.
The real pisser is the fucking mattress sucks.